Dno 1 or 2days before my 1st birthday, I was running a high fever. My parents took me to the A&E cuz it was super late at night. They said I might have some disease.. So they couldn't just run a few checks on me and release me the same night. They had to keep me there for observation. After 2days (I think) then they released me. I remember, my mom told me, my dad was super upset that his precious daughter had to spend her first birthday in the hospital. That was why he bought me that huge fisher playground as my 1st birthday present.
In the end when they released me, they told my parents they couldn't find out what's wrong. So just send me home.
Then, in sec 1, I had 2 ops. For a diabetes-related thing. The doctors were rather perplexed as to why I kept having abcesses and lept checking me for diabetes. (Because it is only common for diabetics to grow abcesses. Other than that, no other reason. So if I didn't have diabetes, why would I have recurring abcess right?)
Before I had the first op. When I discovered the abcess. My goodness. I was terrified like anything. But of course, held my fear in and 'be strong'. Then when it burst in school.... Woah. I was soooooo on the verge of crying. But held back my tears cuz I HATE letting people see me cry. Like I'm v weak or smth. So no, I held back my tears till I had privacy while bathing before going down to the polyclinic for a check up. (I'm skilled in the art of crying silently. LOL)
When I came back home, my mom was soo shocked to see the thing had burst and like, dirty blood and pus was ooozing out. I had been complaining for dno how long but she didn't expect it to be so crazy.
So off we went. And then! In the doctor's room at the polyclinic. We were told, I had to get operated on. Woah. Just imagine how I was feeling at that moment? I was sooooooo terrified. Like, operated on?! Huh... I very scared. That kind of thing. It's like, something I had to go through alone! Super super terrified.
Because of those two ops, I have a more than slight fear of needles. But the second time, I didnt want to like, 'walk into my death' kind of thing. LOL. So I insisted on walking into the operating room instead of being wheeled in on the bed as usual.
But then again, God was glorified when I had that 3rd abcess and He crazily healed it during that cell meeting in Nicolas's room. Woahsiao. It's like, before the meeting, it was ALL red and swollen and painful! Then okay before that right, I was deciding, should go polyclinic or go cell and wait till monday to go see doctor. Then in the end, I decided to go cell. For whatever weird reason.
And then! Pehh gave an altar call, I remember. I responded and was crying and had that encounter with God. And then after that, I realised, the abcess right, it was still very red and the swelling had gone down a little. But! When I pressed it right, there was NO pain at all. Before that, it was freaking pain. But just after the whole altar call thing with God. The pain was just like, magically gone. You know?!
Oh my goodness. I think if I were other people, I'd find this like, super hard to believe. Like, don't bluff lah you kind of thing. But it freaking happened to me personally! So whatever people say to me, I definitely know God is real. This is why I am so, 'christian-y'
After 1op, the abcess came back.. I had to go for another op.. And then! the abcess comes back again. You can see the cycle right? And you know what? After I was healed of that 3rd abcess. NO MORE CAME BACK.
Super amazing!
*Edit* (Okay Nevermind. I take it back. LOL) Anyway, God is amazing right! haha
quite frankly, you are scaring me. The way you talked about God just now.....
Shouldn't God be magnified instead of whatever you're going through? You said, why must God do this and that at this point of time. Maybe it's to make you stronger? Maybe it's a test? Your reaction determines your results. You said, why isn't He here when you need Him. Thing is, He's here, He's always been here. But you aren't turning to Him. He's done sooooo much for You. You know He's real. But you're choosing to turn your back on Him, just for awhile.. Woah.............
Honestly, I believe these new friends of yours are all nice people in their own way. But ever since you came back.. It's like, different person you know?
After the whole R*o incident, I thought you knew and learnt already! No matter what! Whatever you think might bother me or crap like that.
JUST CALL ME.
I'd love to hear your problems, share your sorrow. Do you think we're "bestfriends" for fun? I do not intend to be your fair weather friend you know?
Like married couples, we are, for better or worse, the bananas! Though we're all in different churches, but so what. We serve the same God. We should be able to encourage each other in God, pray for each other, tell each other bout spiritual stuffs, SHARE OUR LIVES.
You say you wana trash your life now, just party and have fun without care for the consequences. I didn't push you just now, cuz I scared if I push you too hard, I might be pushing you away.
Haiya. Whatever the case is, please please please don't do the wrong things, change into the kind of person you are definitely not. All this clubbing nonsense? It's so not you. This edward mah. He's so not for you. This felicia...... Lol.
I sound like a parent. But honestly, both of us are very concerned. AND, no matter how busy you might think we are, or are we really, JUST COME TALK TO US. TO ME.
I do not come from a well off family. We were once, a long time ago. (That's where I get my princess attitude from. LOL. I was my dad's princess. He doted on me like mad. Everytime he came home, sure got present for me! I alwys super look forward to my father coming home, then eagerly tear apart the wrapper or whatever of what he'd bought for me and then happily go and play. LOL! )
But anyway, smth happened and my dad had no choice but to close his company, sell his car. We were almost bankrupted. One of my childhood memories is of people coming to auction off our household stuff. Thankfully, at that time, my dad managed to borrow money from a relative or something to pay them off so we could keep our stuff.
Till date, my parents are still struggling with debts. BUT, we are much better now compared to last time. Anyway, if you realise, I almost always wear the same stuff. Love lotsa clothes and stuff, but hardly buy. Always say want, but end up never cuz either no money or when got money, can't bear to spend so much at one go or I spend the money on food and gifts=/ So anyway, mismatched clothes, handmedowns or not.
I'm very proud of and grateful to my father and mother for being able to take care of us and being able to afford whatever they've afforded for us thus far:)
And honestly right, I thank God for letting us go through that horrible poverty in the past cuz otherwise, I think my parents really might have split. But instead, they decided to work together and overcome it and now, they're still very loving. Although they still quarrel bout money and stuff, but we know they love each other and love us two as well.
My mom's still praying for a financial breakthrough. Here's hoping it'll come soon.
P.s: *hinthint* BigDaddyG! hahaha
P.P.s: Hopefully in the future, I'll be able to afford for them to live carefree and happily in their later years. After suffering so much before and now, they deserve so much more later on!
Once you've loved a person... Will you ever be able to 'unlove' them?
Different people, different cultures, different worlds, different everything. So what brings us together?
The only place where people can really be brought together somehow, is in families, where you sort of have no say in the matter, and churches.
Okay, so now, what about loved ones, not family and not in the same church? Not in the same school, not in the same club, not in the same anything. Only that we love each other, that's what unites us.
Okay so, today, worked till 5+, bought a couple of stuff, then went down to Layyi's to meet the girls.
Played 2 rounds of I have/I have never, then St shared.
Woah. She was preaching about purity, sharing with her own experiences, preaching about being one's self instead of trying to be another person, preaching about how one of the characteristics of a godly woman is her purity, etc.
I was blown away by how good she was. Seriously. I am so so so so so so so proud of her! Though I don't really know how to shepherd properly, was bumbling here and there, but I'm so glad, she was raised to be a woman of God and that she can take care of herself, be independant, go after God even if I'm not there.
I was thinking about how, a leader shouldn't build his or in my case, or her 'followers' to learn how to support and just follow, but should build them to surpass and be even greater! I'm so glad, I didn't turn out to have built her 'on me' but thank God for pehhan and everyone else also who helped to build her into the strong person she is now.
Then! Sandra, ohmy.. 2nd time meeting her, first time, talking not on a surface superficial level, but on heart to heart type ground. Talked for what seemed like ages! Even when her bus came, she didn't notice. When I pointed it out to her, she was like, "aiya nevermind, let's continue talking", kind of thing!
I'm soooooooooo glad for her open heart. Seriously. And that, people are looking to the church for direction and God! omgdness. Thank God.
Another one, this Sherilyn. "You'll definitely be seeing more of me." Something along that line. Yay! God is DEFINITELY doing something! So glad to have new blood among the gen1.4 girls. Momentum's definitely picking up!
Okay okay. One of the things St pointed out.
Pregnancy is proof that pregnant women have been intimate with their other halves. So, What is our proof that we're intimate with God? I was searching myself, wondering, am I intimate with God? Does it show that I am? Or am I 'not there' yet?
I want to be there! Rmb my conversation with Pehh on the bus during the period of time where we were super close and I learnt ALOT from him. Well he asked a question, and my answer was intimacy! That was what? 3-4 years ago? When I was 16. Now I'm 19. Am I any closer to what I want? Have I gotten it? Am I working towards it? What's my proof?
Honestly, there's so much more to go! So many sides to God. How can I even hope to learn and enjoy all of them in just this one lifetime. I think, when we all go to heaven, we'll still be learning so many other different personalities of God even tho we might have learnt a whole lot while we were alive.
Okay, so it's time to bathe:) Goodnight! Enough food for thought for a day.
P.s: I was walking around CS myself today, and I saw some super adorable hairbands! I'd so loooove to wear them out. But... scared people laugh at me for being too girly:( How! HAHAHA. Seriously. 1 is a very pretty pearl beaded hairband. Looks like a string of pearls holding up my hair. Another one's the pretty bow that's currently all the rage in style mags, fashion blogs. Blair Waldorf's clothes in GG were my favourite of the lot! Oh man. All the romantic bows and ribbons..... Is it a sin to be this girly? :( hahaha. I feel like I'm hiding all my super girliness behind the leftover parts of my tomboy persona I've yet to shake off. :( hahaha
This morning, some of us went to send Pehh off. He's going to Brunei to pastor the youth there for 3months and maybe more! It was a weird farewell. To me at least. LOL. It's not like he's going to die there or what. He's going there to do great things for God! Alamak.
So yup.
Us having breakfast at Mac this morning:)
Sneak peak of what went down during the Southern Ridges adventure! Oh gosh. hahahaha
P.s: SO glad the papers are over. Honestly, don't really hope much nor really bother what results I'll be getting. Much more concerned about using my previous grades to apply and maybe appeal with my letters of recommendation if I have to.
P.p.s: I just realised, when I smile, my nose looks like a mixture of both my mum and my dad. Crap! Why can't I have that nice straight girly indian nose! I don't want my father's big manly nose. T.T HAHAHA. BUT, you know what:) *I'm still beautiful, in every single way, words can't take me down* Yeah! LOL ♥
1st paper's tmr at 2.30. last paper's on wednesday, same time same place. Before that on weds tho, pehh'll be flying off to brunei for 3months and maybe more to pastor the youths there. Oh gosh. I feel so excited for him! An amazing opportunity for him to serve out of singapore and to meet people of a different culture and backgrounds. Hope God stretches him and grows him so much more during this period.
At the same time, I feel like I've lost touch! It's been so long since I've done 'real' ministry that I was a little at a loss as to what comes next. Like, okay, Sandra's accepted Christ. Yay! So next, she needs aos. a bible, FOLLOW UP, etc. Very exciting times indeed:)
Dno 1 or 2days before my 1st birthday, I was running a high fever. My parents took me to the A&E cuz it was super late at night. They said I might have some disease.. So they couldn't just run a few checks on me and release me the same night. They had to keep me there for observation. After 2days (I think) then they released me. I remember, my mom told me, my dad was super upset that his precious daughter had to spend her first birthday in the hospital. That was why he bought me that huge fisher playground as my 1st birthday present.
In the end when they released me, they told my parents they couldn't find out what's wrong. So just send me home.
Then, in sec 1, I had 2 ops. For a diabetes-related thing. The doctors were rather perplexed as to why I kept having abcesses and lept checking me for diabetes. (Because it is only common for diabetics to grow abcesses. Other than that, no other reason. So if I didn't have diabetes, why would I have recurring abcess right?)
Before I had the first op. When I discovered the abcess. My goodness. I was terrified like anything. But of course, held my fear in and 'be strong'. Then when it burst in school.... Woah. I was soooooo on the verge of crying. But held back my tears cuz I HATE letting people see me cry. Like I'm v weak or smth. So no, I held back my tears till I had privacy while bathing before going down to the polyclinic for a check up. (I'm skilled in the art of crying silently. LOL)
When I came back home, my mom was soo shocked to see the thing had burst and like, dirty blood and pus was ooozing out. I had been complaining for dno how long but she didn't expect it to be so crazy.
So off we went. And then! In the doctor's room at the polyclinic. We were told, I had to get operated on. Woah. Just imagine how I was feeling at that moment? I was sooooooo terrified. Like, operated on?! Huh... I very scared. That kind of thing. It's like, something I had to go through alone! Super super terrified.
Because of those two ops, I have a more than slight fear of needles. But the second time, I didnt want to like, 'walk into my death' kind of thing. LOL. So I insisted on walking into the operating room instead of being wheeled in on the bed as usual.
But then again, God was glorified when I had that 3rd abcess and He crazily healed it during that cell meeting in Nicolas's room. Woahsiao. It's like, before the meeting, it was ALL red and swollen and painful! Then okay before that right, I was deciding, should go polyclinic or go cell and wait till monday to go see doctor. Then in the end, I decided to go cell. For whatever weird reason.
And then! Pehh gave an altar call, I remember. I responded and was crying and had that encounter with God. And then after that, I realised, the abcess right, it was still very red and the swelling had gone down a little. But! When I pressed it right, there was NO pain at all. Before that, it was freaking pain. But just after the whole altar call thing with God. The pain was just like, magically gone. You know?!
Oh my goodness. I think if I were other people, I'd find this like, super hard to believe. Like, don't bluff lah you kind of thing. But it freaking happened to me personally! So whatever people say to me, I definitely know God is real. This is why I am so, 'christian-y'
After 1op, the abcess came back.. I had to go for another op.. And then! the abcess comes back again. You can see the cycle right? And you know what? After I was healed of that 3rd abcess. NO MORE CAME BACK.
Super amazing!
*Edit* (Okay Nevermind. I take it back. LOL) Anyway, God is amazing right! haha
quite frankly, you are scaring me. The way you talked about God just now.....
Shouldn't God be magnified instead of whatever you're going through? You said, why must God do this and that at this point of time. Maybe it's to make you stronger? Maybe it's a test? Your reaction determines your results. You said, why isn't He here when you need Him. Thing is, He's here, He's always been here. But you aren't turning to Him. He's done sooooo much for You. You know He's real. But you're choosing to turn your back on Him, just for awhile.. Woah.............
Honestly, I believe these new friends of yours are all nice people in their own way. But ever since you came back.. It's like, different person you know?
After the whole R*o incident, I thought you knew and learnt already! No matter what! Whatever you think might bother me or crap like that.
JUST CALL ME.
I'd love to hear your problems, share your sorrow. Do you think we're "bestfriends" for fun? I do not intend to be your fair weather friend you know?
Like married couples, we are, for better or worse, the bananas! Though we're all in different churches, but so what. We serve the same God. We should be able to encourage each other in God, pray for each other, tell each other bout spiritual stuffs, SHARE OUR LIVES.
You say you wana trash your life now, just party and have fun without care for the consequences. I didn't push you just now, cuz I scared if I push you too hard, I might be pushing you away.
Haiya. Whatever the case is, please please please don't do the wrong things, change into the kind of person you are definitely not. All this clubbing nonsense? It's so not you. This edward mah. He's so not for you. This felicia...... Lol.
I sound like a parent. But honestly, both of us are very concerned. AND, no matter how busy you might think we are, or are we really, JUST COME TALK TO US. TO ME.
I do not come from a well off family. We were once, a long time ago. (That's where I get my princess attitude from. LOL. I was my dad's princess. He doted on me like mad. Everytime he came home, sure got present for me! I alwys super look forward to my father coming home, then eagerly tear apart the wrapper or whatever of what he'd bought for me and then happily go and play. LOL! )
But anyway, smth happened and my dad had no choice but to close his company, sell his car. We were almost bankrupted. One of my childhood memories is of people coming to auction off our household stuff. Thankfully, at that time, my dad managed to borrow money from a relative or something to pay them off so we could keep our stuff.
Till date, my parents are still struggling with debts. BUT, we are much better now compared to last time. Anyway, if you realise, I almost always wear the same stuff. Love lotsa clothes and stuff, but hardly buy. Always say want, but end up never cuz either no money or when got money, can't bear to spend so much at one go or I spend the money on food and gifts=/ So anyway, mismatched clothes, handmedowns or not.
I'm very proud of and grateful to my father and mother for being able to take care of us and being able to afford whatever they've afforded for us thus far:)
And honestly right, I thank God for letting us go through that horrible poverty in the past cuz otherwise, I think my parents really might have split. But instead, they decided to work together and overcome it and now, they're still very loving. Although they still quarrel bout money and stuff, but we know they love each other and love us two as well.
My mom's still praying for a financial breakthrough. Here's hoping it'll come soon.
P.s: *hinthint* BigDaddyG! hahaha
P.P.s: Hopefully in the future, I'll be able to afford for them to live carefree and happily in their later years. After suffering so much before and now, they deserve so much more later on!
Once you've loved a person... Will you ever be able to 'unlove' them?
Different people, different cultures, different worlds, different everything. So what brings us together?
The only place where people can really be brought together somehow, is in families, where you sort of have no say in the matter, and churches.
Okay, so now, what about loved ones, not family and not in the same church? Not in the same school, not in the same club, not in the same anything. Only that we love each other, that's what unites us.
Okay so, today, worked till 5+, bought a couple of stuff, then went down to Layyi's to meet the girls.
Played 2 rounds of I have/I have never, then St shared.
Woah. She was preaching about purity, sharing with her own experiences, preaching about being one's self instead of trying to be another person, preaching about how one of the characteristics of a godly woman is her purity, etc.
I was blown away by how good she was. Seriously. I am so so so so so so so proud of her! Though I don't really know how to shepherd properly, was bumbling here and there, but I'm so glad, she was raised to be a woman of God and that she can take care of herself, be independant, go after God even if I'm not there.
I was thinking about how, a leader shouldn't build his or in my case, or her 'followers' to learn how to support and just follow, but should build them to surpass and be even greater! I'm so glad, I didn't turn out to have built her 'on me' but thank God for pehhan and everyone else also who helped to build her into the strong person she is now.
Then! Sandra, ohmy.. 2nd time meeting her, first time, talking not on a surface superficial level, but on heart to heart type ground. Talked for what seemed like ages! Even when her bus came, she didn't notice. When I pointed it out to her, she was like, "aiya nevermind, let's continue talking", kind of thing!
I'm soooooooooo glad for her open heart. Seriously. And that, people are looking to the church for direction and God! omgdness. Thank God.
Another one, this Sherilyn. "You'll definitely be seeing more of me." Something along that line. Yay! God is DEFINITELY doing something! So glad to have new blood among the gen1.4 girls. Momentum's definitely picking up!
Okay okay. One of the things St pointed out.
Pregnancy is proof that pregnant women have been intimate with their other halves. So, What is our proof that we're intimate with God? I was searching myself, wondering, am I intimate with God? Does it show that I am? Or am I 'not there' yet?
I want to be there! Rmb my conversation with Pehh on the bus during the period of time where we were super close and I learnt ALOT from him. Well he asked a question, and my answer was intimacy! That was what? 3-4 years ago? When I was 16. Now I'm 19. Am I any closer to what I want? Have I gotten it? Am I working towards it? What's my proof?
Honestly, there's so much more to go! So many sides to God. How can I even hope to learn and enjoy all of them in just this one lifetime. I think, when we all go to heaven, we'll still be learning so many other different personalities of God even tho we might have learnt a whole lot while we were alive.
Okay, so it's time to bathe:) Goodnight! Enough food for thought for a day.
P.s: I was walking around CS myself today, and I saw some super adorable hairbands! I'd so loooove to wear them out. But... scared people laugh at me for being too girly:( How! HAHAHA. Seriously. 1 is a very pretty pearl beaded hairband. Looks like a string of pearls holding up my hair. Another one's the pretty bow that's currently all the rage in style mags, fashion blogs. Blair Waldorf's clothes in GG were my favourite of the lot! Oh man. All the romantic bows and ribbons..... Is it a sin to be this girly? :( hahaha. I feel like I'm hiding all my super girliness behind the leftover parts of my tomboy persona I've yet to shake off. :( hahaha
This morning, some of us went to send Pehh off. He's going to Brunei to pastor the youth there for 3months and maybe more! It was a weird farewell. To me at least. LOL. It's not like he's going to die there or what. He's going there to do great things for God! Alamak.
So yup.
Us having breakfast at Mac this morning:)
Sneak peak of what went down during the Southern Ridges adventure! Oh gosh. hahahaha
P.s: SO glad the papers are over. Honestly, don't really hope much nor really bother what results I'll be getting. Much more concerned about using my previous grades to apply and maybe appeal with my letters of recommendation if I have to.
P.p.s: I just realised, when I smile, my nose looks like a mixture of both my mum and my dad. Crap! Why can't I have that nice straight girly indian nose! I don't want my father's big manly nose. T.T HAHAHA. BUT, you know what:) *I'm still beautiful, in every single way, words can't take me down* Yeah! LOL ♥
1st paper's tmr at 2.30. last paper's on wednesday, same time same place. Before that on weds tho, pehh'll be flying off to brunei for 3months and maybe more to pastor the youths there. Oh gosh. I feel so excited for him! An amazing opportunity for him to serve out of singapore and to meet people of a different culture and backgrounds. Hope God stretches him and grows him so much more during this period.
At the same time, I feel like I've lost touch! It's been so long since I've done 'real' ministry that I was a little at a loss as to what comes next. Like, okay, Sandra's accepted Christ. Yay! So next, she needs aos. a bible, FOLLOW UP, etc. Very exciting times indeed:)
